Why Some Students Feel Left Out, and How Teachers Can Help

Many teachers have witnessed moments when a student seems to feel left out.

It might happen during group work, recess, or everyday classroom interactions. Sometimes it appears as a student sitting alone. Other times it shows up through behaviors such as withdrawing from a group, reacting strongly to a small comment, or struggling to find a place within a group of peers.

For many upper-elementary students, friendships are becoming more complex. Learning how to navigate misunderstandings, shifting social groups, and feelings of exclusion can be difficult.

Teachers play an important role in helping students understand these experiences and develop empathy for others.

One of the most effective ways to open these conversations is through literature. Stories allow students to explore social situations from a safe distance while reflecting on how relationships work.

Here are three ways teachers can help students think about belonging and friendship in the classroom.

1. Help Students Recognize Social Dynamics

Sometimes students struggle to understand why someone might feel excluded.

When reading a story, teachers can pause and ask questions such as:

• Why might this character feel left out?

• What might the other students in the story be thinking?

• Could this situation have been misunderstood?

These questions help students practice perspective-taking while recognizing that social situations are often more complicated than they first appear.

2. Talk About Small Acts of Inclusion

Students often imagine that solving social problems requires big actions.

In reality, small choices can make a meaningful difference. A simple invitation, kind word, or moment of encouragement can change how someone experiences a situation.

Teachers might ask students:

• What small action could someone take to include this character?

• How could kindness change this situation?

• Have you ever seen a small act of kindness make a difference?

These discussions help students understand that building a supportive classroom community often begins with everyday decisions.

3. Encourage Reflection and Empathy

Literature creates opportunities for students to reflect on their own experiences while developing empathy for others.

After an important scene, teachers might ask:

• Have you ever felt something similar to this character?

• Why might someone hesitate to reach out to another student?

• How can classmates help create a classroom where everyone feels included?

These conversations allow students to recognize that many people experience moments of loneliness or misunderstanding, and that kindness can play an important role in shaping relationships.

Using Literature to Explore Friendship and Belonging

In Passing Notes, students encounter situations involving friendship struggles, misunderstandings, and moments when kindness can shift the direction of a situation.

Because the story reflects experiences many upper-elementary students recognize, it can serve as a starting point for thoughtful conversations about empathy, belonging, and the choices students make in their daily interactions.

Educators can extend these discussions using companion resources such as discussion questions, literature circle activities, and reflection prompts.

You can explore free educator resources on my website.

When students see themselves and others in stories, they begin to understand that many people experience similar challenges. Sometimes a novel opens the door to conversations that help students better understand one another.